30 January 1958

Dear Pearl,

I am writing in an attempt to explain and apologize for my unforgiveable behaviour and the unfortunate events of the New Year party.

I have always found it best to avoid attempting resolutions face to face where there are heightened emotions, that and the fact that in the four weeks since the party each time I have entered a room you are in, a most distressed look passes across your face before you near run out - I can only imagine to be as far away from me as possible. So please would you do me the honour of reading this letter in full, I know I do not deserve it but I cannot go on without at least having the opportunity to offer an apology, I could never forgive myself if our friendship - which has become greatly important to me and in managing my condition - were destroyed over this tragic mishap.

To the night in question. As you must know by now, I am very careful at all times with my - for want of a better word - appetites. The decisions I made that night were based upon keeping myself and others as safe as possible, but what resulted is so grossly unfair that I myself am also the victim of this unbearable situation.

Despite the difficulty I seem to have with socialising since leaving my past life, I was really quite looking forward to the New Year party with you and Leo and had every intention of joining you both in seeing out the year in a jubilant fashion. My decision to avoid all alcoholic beverages, even the wonderful sherry you had so kindly provided (which happens to be an old favourite of mine) was a conscious choice to ensure that I remained in complete command of my faculties. As we both know, although alcohol itself is not really ‘my poison’, in the past it has often been the ‘lubrication’ for various wheels to start turning, inevitably leading to the most depressing scenarios.  So when you offered me the fruit cordial, 'Kia-ora' I think you called it, I took it gladly, fully trusting that it would be a completely neutral substance that would allow me to join in with raising a glass with you and Leo, free from consequences. Had I known this drink was to have such a powerful effect on my system I would not have touched it with a barge pole, but before I had a chance to even consider the possibility of what was to come, an intoxicating force began to engulf me and despite summoning all my remaining willpower, I felt an uncontrollable urge sweep over me.

Let’s just say that for the man I once was, these urges were a secondary, but seemingly inevitable consequence of my condition that I used to enjoy indulging. It makes me shudder to think of it and I shall always haunted by that monster I used to be.

Perhaps it is because you are in your non-corporeal form, but after one sip of the drink it was not the bloodlust that came to the surface but, as you know, another kind of desire. This was an entirely new experience for me.  I shall never, ever forget the look of abject horror on your face as I launched myself at you in the most ungentlemanly fashion and tried to kiss you, the memory of that alone is punishment enough.

I know I am asking a lot of you Pearl, but I beg you to understand, that despicable man was not me but the beast that the drink unleashed upon you that night. I humbly ask for your forgiveness, in return for my guarantee that it will never happen again.

I must ask you to remove this hideous substance from the house and never allow it back in, both to avoid this situation ever happening again and to remove all possibility that I may not be able to resist the urge to experience the unfamiliar sensation of this particular appetite in isolation without the more familiar one I am used to in the presence of women.  If I also may be so bold, this 'Kia-ora' should be added to my ‘must avoid’ list, really it should. If the conditions are right, I believe I can be the most amenable housemate, if you will continue to give me the chance to prove it. 

Yours sincerely,

Hal

That's brilliant!  It fits Pearl's reaction perfectly.

"'It's just for me and my dog'  'I'll be your dog'".  Sorry, just needed to get that out there!

haha! oh my... this made me Lol Ciara, "Good old rumpy pumpy lust"!

The idea of the kia ora having a different effect on him than blood struck me from the start. But, the idea of one 'appetite' replacing the other is even more intriguing..and one for which i cannot take full credit, a Hal/Being Human fanfic'er @KatyNewt introduced me to that idea in one of her fanfics (we linked to it ) albeit through a non kia ora and completely different mechanism. 

I just wanted to put this version of the 'kia ora effect' out there, as it adds a new dimension to Hal's avoidance of it, not an abhorrent substance that turns him into a blood sucking killing monster, but also possilby a medicine of sorts! although the side effect is him turning into a randy beast, the temptation to be free from the blood lust and free to explore "good old rumpy pumpy lust" would require a strong resistance!

here you go Hal ..