Love this last poem Jozie (your 500th birthday poem too, but already commented on it in the other topic).
Your latest is very descriptive and I am always amazed at how brilliantly you write, it rhymes and everything, with english being your second language.
these two lines say it all:
"with eyes so dark, teeth so sharp and lips so tempting."
"..something so beautiful, creature from heaven or hell, I could not tell."
I read a lot in english and I love poetry. And I love sharing these with you and hear what you think!
I'm always learning something new when I read and these poems just come in my head, little weird but, in english.
I don't know why (well probably because of the reading) but most of my thoughts are in english too
But I've talked with my friends and they said it's quite normal When you learn a new language and you keep learning it everyday, you start to think in other language. And when I read a lot in english it affects my thoughts.
Well, Damien is messing my head and thoughts but that's a completely different thing
Written from point of view of imaginary victim of Hal
Ripping sound behind my back, there was that and a man with my friend, lying on the ground behind bar, no other sounds except my scream, my breath.
My friend is dead.
Gasping for air, crawling to safety, dirt under my nails, tears in my eyes, blood in my hands. I'm trying to stand, but I can't.
My friend is dead.
Kiss so sweet and soft turned to nightmare, our night to hell, that man to monster. I'm trying to believe it, but I can't.
My friend is dead.
I should have not leave her alone with that man, with swift tongue and angel face, now she's lying dead and I can't find my step.
My friend is dead.
Finally got up but can't see, it so dark and my tears are fooling me. He was so sweet for my friend, standing next to me, so beautiful, so nice, so honest.
Why is it suddenly so quiet?
-- Edited by JozieMozie on Thursday 30th of October 2014 05:36:16 PM
After magnificent Blooms day poetry sessions I decided to make a poem (a story) about Hal and Sylvie based on what Hal talked about her mixed with my own imagination.
Sorry if there are any typos, made this poem in few hours.
papillon... pamplemousse... bibliothèque... un baiser A lilt in his voice. Every sentence like music... #kisskisskiss A terrible beauty is born. Love me some #Jacksass
I was feeling little sad when I wrote the ending, but I knew, as well as we all, that there was no happy ending
When I thought about the scene when Hal was talking about Sylvie, he had tears in his eyes and he said "I don't know why" when he referred what comes to his head when he wants to stop drinking blood, which memory is the one he wants to hold on when the thirst is too great.
My guess is that what Hal had with Sylvie, was "love", the closest experience he had about love in his life, a little glimpse of normal life. And the monster inside him win and took it all away. And Alex was making him feel again the same feelings all over again and the memory of Sylvie was holding him back quite much.
I have been thinking a long time about Hal and Sylvie, it was nice to get my thoughts out
I think the sad part about BH is that Hal will never get happy ending, nor the other vampires. There might be happy and have joyful life but when the ending comes, it's never happy.
Wonderful and so moving Jozie... delicate and yet powerful...very masterful use of language and the rhyming.. wow! As someone for whom english is their second language you have an enviable command of it!
Sylvie makes my heart hurt. Jozie, your poem is lovely. When I read it, I feel the fragile love that holds Hal in check.
I sometimes have trouble commenting about things that I feel too deeply, so haven't said anything about this poem until now.
To be honest, I have trouble talking about Hal and Sylvie. I get too emotional. (Ask Whimsy. I write Hal-being-tormented fic after thinking about Sylvie.)
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He'd have told me to join him, and I would. - still true!
I just saw your reply only now. Story of Hal and Sylvie touch me too, perhaps it was because Damien did one of the most amazing performance as Hal when about Sylvie. I remember first time I watch that scene I was holding my breath. I watched that scene two, three times and made this poem right away after that. Damien's romantic reading on Blooms day inspired me and I was thinking about romantic topic and I remembered that scene.
It was hard when I realized I have to end this poem sadly, and I felt incredibly sad when I wrote the ending
When you learn a new language and you keep learning it everyday, you start to think in other language. And when I read a lot in english it affects my thoughts.
